As some of you may know, I've been dealing with some personal issues. My grandmother is in extremely poor health and is expected to die soon. I've been trying to deal with the emotions and thoughts of this, and will write about it soon. But, instead of giving you guys a bad blog post that wasn't thought through, I'll give you something worth reading. Here's an article (with a few edits) I wrote for my college's newspaper, The Echo. Enjoy!
I’m not sure why I have this problem.
I’m not sure why I have this problem.
Maybe it’s my own fault because I like to engage in controversial topics. Maybe it’s because I read the surprisingly still-active “Taylor Confessions” page on Facebook. Maybe it’s because I know people who have been affected by it, and that has colored my views. Maybe it’s because I value people far above logic and arguing, and I realize life is messier than we think.
All I know is that I am getting sick and tired of the intellectual games and arguments surrounding homosexuality in the Church.
First we have our right-wing conservatives who often proclaim how wrong homosexuality is, sometimes with grace, but more often with judgment and anger, especially in public forums (*cough* Facebook *cough*). Yes, I know this happens because I used to act that way myself.
Then we have those who identify themselves in the LGTBQ (Lesbian/Gay/Bi/Transsexual/Queer) community. And they respond in anger at the judgment they feel and argue about how it’s not wrong to be gay.
Black and White. Good and Bad. Right and Wrong. Both sides claiming to have the correct view.
And it goes back and forth, argument after argument, until it descends into name-calling, buffoonery, and all caps with excessive punctuation. It’s all rhetoric and childish idiocy.
No one convinces the other with their arguments. Nothing changes. We just hurt each other.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I used to be that way (on the right-wing side). I knew all the arguments (still do) about why homosexuality’s bad. I knew what the Bible said. I thought I knew everything. And then I met someone who is gay.
Now, when I say “gay,” I mean “someone who experiences a strong sexual attraction/preference for members of the same sex.” Homosexuality is a spectrum of experiences and responses. Some people actively pursue same-sex relationships. Some decide to become celibate. But all these people have stories. Stories go far beyond black-and-white.
There are the blood-reds of rejection and pain. There are the deep-sea-blues of loneliness, depression and fervently desired love and acceptance. There are the bright, vibrant greens of finding people who show care, love and support.
Life is messy. It doesn’t offer easy answers. And it angers me when life stories are reduced to arguments where someone has to be right. When pain is reduced to rhetoric.
I know how preferable it is to stay inside our own little boxes where we have all the answers to life, the universe and homosexuality. But we aren’t meant to live inside boxes. And having all the answers won’t bring us fulfillment. Just look at Paul in 1 Corinthians 13. The Bible calls us to love. We can’t do that until we get to know each other’s stories.
No, it’s not comfortable. And yes, you might have to wrestle with some tough questions. You might have to realize that (gasp!) you don’t have all the answers. That’s okay.
Stop the rhetoric games. Start listening to the stories.
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