For most, Easter is a time of celebration, of Christ rising from the
dead, the Easter Bunny, days off from work, and candy in eggs. But this
year, I am reminded that it is a time of hope.
Someone I know almost succumbed to despair earlier this week. He almost committed suicide. But he checked himself into a hospital instead and found help.
Sadly, this is not the first time suicide has reached for people around me, brushing against me in the process. Of the four times in my life Suicide has brushed up against me, this is the first time he did not catch his prey.
So while everyone else celebrates, I write to those without hope, who struggle to live another day. To those who suffer from depression and loneliness. I write to new friends and old: Do not abandon hope.
You are loved. People do care about you. And though you may not believe it, every death is a loss felt by all.
I know.
A friend at my school accidentally killed himself in an experiment gone wrong. (I wrote about it here.) His death is still felt by students years later.
My boss’s husband killed himself 4 years ago after a traumatic brain injury left him disabled, and a different person than before. She still thinks about him every single day.
No matter what, people care about you and will always feel the loss of you.
Before you ask what right have I to speak into these things, let me tell you I know what it is like to be in your shoes. You think that life isn’t worth living. That you don’t really matter, and that no one will truly miss you after you’re gone. You wonder if your life has had any purpose, and looking back, and scanning your presumed future, you find it worthless. I know because I have been there. I have felt those feelings.
For a time, I planned to kill myself after graduation. Knew how, where, and a basic idea of when I would do so. I “knew” that my friends would move on and eventually forget about me, because I wasn’t a friend, but a burden.
Surprisingly, God showed me the truth through a horrible movie called Seven Pounds (which I NEVER want to see again) where the main character, consumed with guilt for an accident he caused resulting in death, killed himself and donated his organs to help others. Sounds good, I know, but I couldn’t get my boss out of my head, Her crying, tortured face. Her torment years later over her husband’s death. Her deep love that doesn’t let go of her husband to this day. I knew that his suicide haunted her. And I realized mine would haunt those I love.
Your desired death will haunt others too. Your life is not worthless. Your future is bright. You are loved more deeply than you can comprehend, both by those around you and the very God whose resurrection we celebrate this season.
And if you will not believe me, listen to these words, words from He Who Created you.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (ESV)
Isaiah 43:1-5a “But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, … ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life. Fear not, for I am with you….’” (ESV)
Zephaniah 3:17 “The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” (NIV 1984)
And finally, remember: God so loved you that He gave his only Son, so that if you would just believe in Him, you would not perish, but be given everlasting, abundant life! (John 3:16, paraphrased)
This is the time we celebrate the crucifixion and the resurrection of Jesus. God Himself did not think you worthless. He did not think your life too costly to save. But He gave it all because he loves you.
Do not abandon hope. God has not abandoned you.
Someone I know almost succumbed to despair earlier this week. He almost committed suicide. But he checked himself into a hospital instead and found help.
Sadly, this is not the first time suicide has reached for people around me, brushing against me in the process. Of the four times in my life Suicide has brushed up against me, this is the first time he did not catch his prey.
So while everyone else celebrates, I write to those without hope, who struggle to live another day. To those who suffer from depression and loneliness. I write to new friends and old: Do not abandon hope.
You are loved. People do care about you. And though you may not believe it, every death is a loss felt by all.
I know.
A friend at my school accidentally killed himself in an experiment gone wrong. (I wrote about it here.) His death is still felt by students years later.
My boss’s husband killed himself 4 years ago after a traumatic brain injury left him disabled, and a different person than before. She still thinks about him every single day.
No matter what, people care about you and will always feel the loss of you.
Before you ask what right have I to speak into these things, let me tell you I know what it is like to be in your shoes. You think that life isn’t worth living. That you don’t really matter, and that no one will truly miss you after you’re gone. You wonder if your life has had any purpose, and looking back, and scanning your presumed future, you find it worthless. I know because I have been there. I have felt those feelings.
For a time, I planned to kill myself after graduation. Knew how, where, and a basic idea of when I would do so. I “knew” that my friends would move on and eventually forget about me, because I wasn’t a friend, but a burden.
Surprisingly, God showed me the truth through a horrible movie called Seven Pounds (which I NEVER want to see again) where the main character, consumed with guilt for an accident he caused resulting in death, killed himself and donated his organs to help others. Sounds good, I know, but I couldn’t get my boss out of my head, Her crying, tortured face. Her torment years later over her husband’s death. Her deep love that doesn’t let go of her husband to this day. I knew that his suicide haunted her. And I realized mine would haunt those I love.
Your desired death will haunt others too. Your life is not worthless. Your future is bright. You are loved more deeply than you can comprehend, both by those around you and the very God whose resurrection we celebrate this season.
And if you will not believe me, listen to these words, words from He Who Created you.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (ESV)
Isaiah 43:1-5a “But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, … ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life. Fear not, for I am with you….’” (ESV)
Zephaniah 3:17 “The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” (NIV 1984)
And finally, remember: God so loved you that He gave his only Son, so that if you would just believe in Him, you would not perish, but be given everlasting, abundant life! (John 3:16, paraphrased)
This is the time we celebrate the crucifixion and the resurrection of Jesus. God Himself did not think you worthless. He did not think your life too costly to save. But He gave it all because he loves you.
Do not abandon hope. God has not abandoned you.
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